I see myself lying to myself, and the one who just got lied, just get living on, just easily work on those lies, like those people who eat pistachios , instictively, and just keep talking.
It's been a long time, since i've never felt those burning in my stomach, and i really felt good those days....but, when i saw all those butterflies that were turning into maggots from the situation they were living...i really didn't know what to do with them..
Taking them with me, and feeding and taking care of them, there was no more point on it.
I still have a collection of beautiful butterflies now, They are Gold and Silver, and i've kept them from my past loves, and now, i couldn't let myself to put other butterflies.
So, for now, i am trying not to look at them, well, at the end, if they are going to fade away or die, let them turn in ashes, and then let them serve as ingredient for the new vegetation.
Enough, i don't to have anymore love-neats in my hands, in my life, that i can't be so strong to throw them away, or cluesly t try to break them .
Today, somebody was talking about the first love-nest , talking about the idea of a new-old relationship, but much more seriously this time....
hehehe, i've been so lovely and so caring to my butterflies. Without an experience, only for the sake of love to have them with me in the nest, i feed them, and grow them, and even when i had the second nest, i never forgot to look after the first one. The passion, at the end, never dies...
Together again?
My lovely teenager time dreams, even before i started to do stupid things and being jealous.
The being of us together...family....house....
Do you think it might be happen??
I DON"T WANT IT
What will happen with the butterflies? What with happen with my love-nest?
So, i found the solution to that problem.
The problem actually is in the love-nest and there's so discussion to make about it.
And then, there's the second nest...there are still some Maggots that are turning into butterflies....but in slow motion, and i don't want to have any new ones now...
In fact, the second time, i tried my best to not have the nest, with all my energy, all my power, But it comes out, that i was used to the nest before, so it was easy for me. I didn't want to disturb my other butterflies, so slowly slowly, i told them, that i would bring to them, some new friends....a new family...an untouchable new love.
Sometimes, before i go to sleep, i come up my love-nests and i look at them .Stare at them miraculously...and each one tells me a story, a different one...
then i do the simply check up...if any of those is dead ....
They are those one who tried to get out of the nest
Those who never made it to come by and give me the message...
those who never made it to go and tell to them the message
I call them, my lostly maratonomak butterflies.
and i am still thinking about my love-nests...
And the second one, i open it up...
I open it up, and I let the butterflies, to fly free in my room, and then, i open the window, till the last of them, got out....they were free
...