Seated in a bar, when all the clients are running to get their beers while the offer is still going. Only 5 minutes left. Everybody is yelling and they are pushing each other , trying to still a look from the only bartender.

Seated in the corner of a big table, i look over the empty chairs. Some minutes ago, there were some of my class students in there...but better, much better that they left.

" Listen i need to talk to you"

I turn me head lightly, trying not to show the bushes of my eyebrows .

"need to talk?"

" now that you know that I will be a father, i think, i need to tell you something"

I am staying still, with a smile kinda picture "cheese" on my face.

" Thank you for being so good at me, but i don't deserve it. And i don't know what to do. But , i know that i don't want to be like my father, i want to take my responsabilities"

I am still looking at him, can't take my eyes off of him. Staying there and i am listening, and thinking...actually..I am not starting to think anything./..just hearing that voice, and Trying not to HEAR< ....trying to grab my heart from the arteries, and to block them one by one....DON"T LISTEN!!!

" I need to say this, and i feel so stupid towards you, i can say this, that i still love my ex, but this doesn't stop me to Love you, and i wish that my life was different, that everything was different."

........

" I know, that somehow, in this life, you will make somebody happy, and lucky him, but fuck, because i know it won't be me..and i feel angry about it...but, "

.........." GOD>>>>what did i do to you???"

That's the only thing that i am thinking. I am yelling inside of me, punching my self, and punching him, virtually...i am trying to get all the papers in the club, in order to put them in his mouth...don't talk anymore...GOD< what did I do to you?

I tried not to give any sound more than a whispering...and was so difficult, to get out of that discussion, so, i was telling him about my old love stories...watching this lovely person...that would be just a memory of a night in Hollywood.

" Let's go and play"

We walk next to each other...there's no need to walk hand in hand.
well...what the fuck walking hand in hand...i need to punch myself again.

We sit down, next to the piano.
The two of us playing.

I couldn't anymore..

"Please let me play a bit. I need to take out everything i have inside...please let me play"

" Please play something slow...i wanna hear you playing something slow"

I try not to play pianissin=mo...i don't want him to hear my heartbeats, my stupid heart.

Then i sit down, and i ask him to play.

" I don't know what to play...wait..this is for you...now"

Minor melody, magnificent ...
i wanna scream, ....kidnap

no....nothing like that..

we are friends of the same lost Ideal

Friends of the same lost art of missing love connections